Monday, 6 August 2012
A poem from my novel, "Svera Jang."
Words he spoke went around in my head again and again For a long time as I ruminated on them, I looked for something, a shape, a worldly thing, anything Thoughts were sheathed in the armour of words to teach me to step out of the shadow of illusion I am talking to you mother, and to myself and to you, the universal person that embodies us all So you dress yourself in words, just the way you want to, in your style, in colours of your choice You step outside of the boundaries of your domain Parade around on the catwalk of this worldly stage, like an actor constantly surrounded by an audience There are thunderbolts, flashlights, rules, directions and cross roads The hidden eyes of sophisticated electronic devices, Scrutinising each word, each step, each move you make, skin colour, finger prints, colour of your eyes, ID cars Trying to mess up your life, with pictures, sounds words and other commodities You are being watched, being judged, labeled for your actions, Baddies’ from a gangster film, ‘stalkers’ aiming to hunt you pointing fingers at you, by those who rule or govern you, Your parents, your children, your teachers, your bosses, your friends, your neighbours, your partners They are all victims of the same game actors in the same play They are your strengths and your weaknesses. The hang man's rope by which we haul ourselves from the storm. You forget to see through things as you try hard to join in the game imitating others, like monkeys becoming more and more fake, unreal, take orders from higher bosses, unable to decide for yourself, even when you have more knowledge, ability, you become robots Forgetting the basic values of humanity, you try to fit in, tell lies, striving for your own selfish goals, become self indulgent, self centred, self important, self defeating Then when any small crisis suddenly strikes your life You do not know how to react You either start to pray in temples, mosques, cathedrals to be forgiven for your sins or take the ‘wrong’ side, join forces with the wrong powers to destroy others You are the self defeated, brainwashed by the system you live in You have no urge to rebel against any norm, any static reality You have learnt the skill of selling yourself so well You’ve become just like any other commodity in the supermarket wrapped in glossy jargon to be hired on your face value And if you are paid what you’re worth, then life is cheap, but you’ll be charged a lot for what you want We’re Consumers, buying, selling, trading, bargaining with our feelings, even love, passion, and sacrifice have become just another commodity, factory fodder, cheap thrills and disposable emotions You phrase words to climb the ladder, using and abusing each other You’ve forgotten the good old concept of love like the one between Romeo and Juliet, Heer and Ranjha For you nothing comes for free The whole place is a big fucking market Competition, power, control of the raw soul Disasters, war, torture, killing of the innocent Political makeover for the cat-walk, a fashion show Camera roll...Action...Take one More lights, please, everything is blinding Can you see? Can I? Maybe you can, Can you compete? I can’t. Did you feel let down? I did Do you see? I tried Not everyone can... (Svera Jang can be ordered from Indigo Dreams Publishing or Amazon. Svera Jang was nominated fro the East Midland Book of the Year Award) Seem Gill