Sunday 7 August 2011

A 'friend' phoned me out of the orange yesterday, the 6th of Aug. offering me a ticket to a  concert. I got so excited that I had to run down the looooohooo...ha...joking. I did feel small nutterflies in my smooth and a bit round tummy, why round because: 1. The bloody knee pain does not allow me to walk for too long. 2. I have not been invited to many things lately. 3. I have not made any conscious effort to ‘go out’ and ‘about’ or ‘socialise’. I did attend a couple of previews to art exhibitions and a few walks along the Grand Union Canal but these days I tend to sit on my black leather chair and dream. A few years ago, people use to tell me that I had a aura of peace and tranquility but the problem is my ‘trance’ is trying to escape me ever since...ever since, hmmmm never mind when, but if you wanna read about my beautiful‘trance’ I used to take with me every where in order to survive,you will have to buy my novel. If trance was a snake it would have disappeared into the thick, muddy and slimy rain puddle like some politicians these days, but it is not a snake (and the puddles are rather transparent) but that kindda ‘thing’ what is it you call it? Is it....anhoooo.. it is....it’s....I can’t find a word for it, I will leave it to your on drowsy Sunday imagination to ponder about a bit. Sometimes, I suddenly realise that I am all alone, sitting in my studio gazing at the universe as if it was a running train or a huge flower hung over my head looking down at me, teasing me, you, she, him, them. I am busy figuring out the inevitable question of, ‘why am I here? Now? This time of my life? Doing what? For who? And where? Don’t we all ponder and question? I do not want it to become a habit because a habit never dies...unless you got a strong mind but you can ‘kill’ or ‘slaughter’ your own useless habit instead of killing an innocent victim or slaughtering a poor animal. Agree?

Oh my..my..it’s raining again as it does at this time of the year, but it is raining softly this time like the buzz of a dragonfly...damn..it, I can’t go outside and dance in the rain as I used to do when I was a little girl growing up in India...I do still like the rain..I love the rain because it polishes my clouded thoughts, it cleanse my dusty heart just like if it was a plant. It makes music to my ears. Yes the summer rain is pleasant and is much needed for the thirsty planet. My plants in the patio are doing so well....let me have a peek outside...“Watchha...cha...cha...chacha your spelling...” I hear a thick. stern voice from behind. I jump in my wooden chair and look around. Here he is looking to my direction from that far corner of his own fantasy world. It's my fat, cuddly do....nut...do....gma, budding....buddy. He sometimes jumps out from behind the trees to give me a big piece of his own troubbled behind...oh sorry I had meant to say mind..ah..well what the heck, I got the freedom of writing what I want, but he does watch my back and stairs into my eyes as if I was an ‘object’ of desire...Me? Never...who am I to say this...but oh please don’t watch me as I sit here pouring my naked thoughts to feed your minds just read them and watch this space....will be back....back to tell you more stories and take you to cities, continents and places  you’ve never been before.....

.....to be continues.

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